...but I miss you.
I know that you were loved from the second I knew about you.
I know that you were a part of me that I never got to hold.
I can almost smell you and feel you if I close my eyes.
I remember the day you left like it was yesterday.
I know that everything happens as it should.
But it doesn't change the fact that I miss you.
More today than ever.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Slowing down
I wish I could say that's what I'm doing, slowing down. It's not. As my girlie gets older, I get busier. As I take on new challenges, i.e. work, I get busier. As I get more involved with volunteering, I get busier.
But I am slowing down. Does that make sense?
I think I would call it prioritizing. Being selective about what I say yes to. Being selective about who is in my life. Eliminating mental clutter so that when I'm in the moment, I am truly in the moment. I have rules for myself now. No phone at times when the ones I love need and deserve 100% of my attention. This can be challenging because my work now requires me to sleep with my phone. Not literally but yup, it's on my bedside table at night. Same goes with my personal tether to the world. 9:30PM and unless it's something important, I don't answer it. No calls, no texts, no email, no Facebook, no Twitter. Makes me enjoy times like these more too. Times where everyone is taken care of. The tasks for the day are wrapped up and I can escape to a place where I can get my thoughts out there. Clear my head.
I watched and listened to my girlie laugh tonight.
Full out belly laugh.
Eyes squinting.
Head back.
Full of life.
That is what makes me slow down. That's what puts perspective on everything. I could have kissed her face off. And I did. When I snuggled in to put her to bed. When she asked me to hold her hand. My world stopped. I was in heaven on earth.
As always, love the one you're with.
But I am slowing down. Does that make sense?
I think I would call it prioritizing. Being selective about what I say yes to. Being selective about who is in my life. Eliminating mental clutter so that when I'm in the moment, I am truly in the moment. I have rules for myself now. No phone at times when the ones I love need and deserve 100% of my attention. This can be challenging because my work now requires me to sleep with my phone. Not literally but yup, it's on my bedside table at night. Same goes with my personal tether to the world. 9:30PM and unless it's something important, I don't answer it. No calls, no texts, no email, no Facebook, no Twitter. Makes me enjoy times like these more too. Times where everyone is taken care of. The tasks for the day are wrapped up and I can escape to a place where I can get my thoughts out there. Clear my head.
I watched and listened to my girlie laugh tonight.
Full out belly laugh.
Eyes squinting.
Head back.
Full of life.
That is what makes me slow down. That's what puts perspective on everything. I could have kissed her face off. And I did. When I snuggled in to put her to bed. When she asked me to hold her hand. My world stopped. I was in heaven on earth.
As always, love the one you're with.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Nature in us
eyes upon the future
not looking to the past
time streaming by
slipping between our fingers
cup your hands
capture the moments
let them flood over you
smile
feel their warmth
revel in the truth of the moment
don't fight it
let it wash over you
through you
clean
refreshed
renewal
like the leaves on the trees in fall
they served their purpose
they provided shade
they drank in the light
now they start to die
but no tears
rejoice in the idea of renewal
bare like the branches doesn't mean alone, naked, vulnerable
it means shedding the old, which served you well and preparing for the new
feel nature around us
in us
through us
Love
not looking to the past
time streaming by
slipping between our fingers
cup your hands
capture the moments
let them flood over you
smile
feel their warmth
revel in the truth of the moment
don't fight it
let it wash over you
through you
clean
refreshed
renewal
like the leaves on the trees in fall
they served their purpose
they provided shade
they drank in the light
now they start to die
but no tears
rejoice in the idea of renewal
bare like the branches doesn't mean alone, naked, vulnerable
it means shedding the old, which served you well and preparing for the new
feel nature around us
in us
through us
Love
Graduation from BMQ
Something ended this weekend but it was also the beginning. I graduated from my Basic Military Qualification. Made top three! I was in the running for Top Candidate...didn't get it but that was fine with me. I really didn't want to have to parade out in front of everyone. If you could see my drill, you'd know why. HAHA The TC award went to a very deserving person!!! Very proud of him!!
This is the beginning of a whole new career for me. A part-time career but a career just the same. Just because I am doing it part-time doesn't mean I just have part of my heart into it. I am so dedicated to this it's ridiculous. I believe in the people we have in our military. I believe in their talents and abilities to serve with honor, dignity, loyalty and courage. I'm so proud to put on my combats, big red and white flag on my shoulder. [big smile here]
And I've got a new start on some other things as well but that can be for a later post.
This is the beginning of a whole new career for me. A part-time career but a career just the same. Just because I am doing it part-time doesn't mean I just have part of my heart into it. I am so dedicated to this it's ridiculous. I believe in the people we have in our military. I believe in their talents and abilities to serve with honor, dignity, loyalty and courage. I'm so proud to put on my combats, big red and white flag on my shoulder. [big smile here]
And I've got a new start on some other things as well but that can be for a later post.
Encouragement
My thoughts after graduation BMQ.
I have to say that my thoughts are a bit all over the place today. Jumbled around in this little brain of mine. I'm thinking about graduation from my BMQ. The people I have met. Where I will go next with it...with all of it. I'm thinking about the folks overseas. The sacrifices they are making. The friends I have over there now and the friends that I have going. This makes me think of mortality. My own mortality to a degree. I'm thinking about how I'm getting closer to where I need to be but I'm not quite there yet. I understand that life is a never-ending journey. I'm okay with that. I'm just wondering when I will be "close enough" to having it together.
I'm thinking about the text I got this morning from my buddy Mitchell. "ADOPT the new attitude of the military career as being something you WANT for yourself and for your life. DO NOT let anyone get in your way! You CAN do it and you will do it. The military does not give compliments. Have confidence in yourself to know you KICK ass!"
She sent this because yesterday we had our review. Mine was good but there was no mention of all the extra stuff I do. I extra help I ask for so that I can be better. The leadership role I try to take. I was disappointed. I was frustrated with myself and with the system. I asked myself why I was doing seven days a week for the past seven weeks. I was questioning my abilities. Right up until this morning, I was questioning if I was good enough. Capable. Able. Basic Military Qualification is difficult but not as hard as Solider Qualifying. I have been challenged mentally and physically with my BMQ but mostly because it's something new. It's a new philosophy and a new way of life. SQ will be very challenging for a variety of reasons. Yesterday I was questioning if I could do it. If I wanted to continue. Mitchell's text encouraged me and it makes me think...I CAN do this and I WILL.
I have to say that my thoughts are a bit all over the place today. Jumbled around in this little brain of mine. I'm thinking about graduation from my BMQ. The people I have met. Where I will go next with it...with all of it. I'm thinking about the folks overseas. The sacrifices they are making. The friends I have over there now and the friends that I have going. This makes me think of mortality. My own mortality to a degree. I'm thinking about how I'm getting closer to where I need to be but I'm not quite there yet. I understand that life is a never-ending journey. I'm okay with that. I'm just wondering when I will be "close enough" to having it together.
I'm thinking about the text I got this morning from my buddy Mitchell. "ADOPT the new attitude of the military career as being something you WANT for yourself and for your life. DO NOT let anyone get in your way! You CAN do it and you will do it. The military does not give compliments. Have confidence in yourself to know you KICK ass!"
She sent this because yesterday we had our review. Mine was good but there was no mention of all the extra stuff I do. I extra help I ask for so that I can be better. The leadership role I try to take. I was disappointed. I was frustrated with myself and with the system. I asked myself why I was doing seven days a week for the past seven weeks. I was questioning my abilities. Right up until this morning, I was questioning if I was good enough. Capable. Able. Basic Military Qualification is difficult but not as hard as Solider Qualifying. I have been challenged mentally and physically with my BMQ but mostly because it's something new. It's a new philosophy and a new way of life. SQ will be very challenging for a variety of reasons. Yesterday I was questioning if I could do it. If I wanted to continue. Mitchell's text encouraged me and it makes me think...I CAN do this and I WILL.
Blank canvas
A blank page
Waiting to be written
A blank canvas
Waiting for the colors
A melody
Waiting for the words
__________________________________
No one knows it unless they've lived it
No one has lived it unless they've been there
No one has been there unless they were standing in your very footprints
An open mind in a journey of people, places, things, dreams, emotions, changing times.
All unique.
All special.
All a part of you, of me.
Waiting to be written
A blank canvas
Waiting for the colors
A melody
Waiting for the words
__________________________________
No one knows it unless they've lived it
No one has lived it unless they've been there
No one has been there unless they were standing in your very footprints
An open mind in a journey of people, places, things, dreams, emotions, changing times.
All unique.
All special.
All a part of you, of me.
Be what you are seeking
You can't expect to draw people into your life who are kind, confident and generous if you're thinking and acting in cruel, weak and selfish ways. You must be what it is that you're seeking - that is, you need to put forth what you want to attract. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Set the example of joy
"You cannot create in the experience of another because you cannot think their thoughts. What you can do for them is set the example of joy. Becoming a being who thinks only of that which you are wanting, who speaks only of that which you are wanting and who does only that which you are wanting - and therefore brings forth only joyful emotion." --Esther and Jerry Hicks
This fine day, set the example of joy. Be positive. Be caring. Be compassionate. Smile. Laugh. Love.
This fine day, set the example of joy. Be positive. Be caring. Be compassionate. Smile. Laugh. Love.
July 6, 2009
I lay my head down to rest.
Weary from my day.
Thoughts of many things.
Where to go next, what to do to make things better.
Impatient.
Restless.
Knowing what I want just uncertain on how to get there.
Goals.
Dreams.
Ambition.
Weary from my day.
Thoughts of many things.
Where to go next, what to do to make things better.
Impatient.
Restless.
Knowing what I want just uncertain on how to get there.
Goals.
Dreams.
Ambition.
Perseverance.
Trust.
Faith.
It's not about making it to the top.
It's all in the climb.
Skinned knees.
Lessons.
Knowing.
Appreciation.
Trust.
Mutual.
Respect.
Caring.
Compassion.
Kindness.
Love.
A bright future.
Trust.
Faith.
It's not about making it to the top.
It's all in the climb.
Skinned knees.
Lessons.
Knowing.
Appreciation.
Trust.
Mutual.
Respect.
Caring.
Compassion.
Kindness.
Love.
A bright future.
So much to be grateful for...lying here beside me...Sweet pea.
Dr. Seuss
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” --Dr. Seuss
Life is short
LIFE IS SHORT. Don't take a second for granted. Love with all your heart and soul. Don't be critical. Love life. Laugh until your sides hurt. Be adventurous. Smile at a stranger. Say good morning to the gal in front of you at the coffee shop. Hold the door for someone. Dream big. Don't be jealous. Never be too busy for someone you care about. Never, ever hold a grudge. It is only hurting you, not the other person. FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE! Forgive them and forgive yourself.
What we need
God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.
December 28, 2008
Words of wisdom.
You just never know where someone has been. The road they have been on. The upbringing they have had. The relationships they have endured. The health issues they may have had (or have and trudge through silently). The defeat they have felt. The challenges they face. I think when someone shows themselves to us, we do need to take it for what it is...when a person shows you who they really are, believe them. But also take the other factors into consideration. That doesn't mean you have to take shit from someone or be their scapegoat or doormat. What it does mean is that, though you might not agree with something they said, did or the way they act, there is likely a story behind it. See if there is some compassion in your heart to overlook it or make the decision that a line has been crossed, that there is no going back. But never make that choice without some careful consideration. Once a tie is severed, it is difficult, if not impossible to reconnect. Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance....??
You just never know where someone has been. The road they have been on. The upbringing they have had. The relationships they have endured. The health issues they may have had (or have and trudge through silently). The defeat they have felt. The challenges they face. I think when someone shows themselves to us, we do need to take it for what it is...when a person shows you who they really are, believe them. But also take the other factors into consideration. That doesn't mean you have to take shit from someone or be their scapegoat or doormat. What it does mean is that, though you might not agree with something they said, did or the way they act, there is likely a story behind it. See if there is some compassion in your heart to overlook it or make the decision that a line has been crossed, that there is no going back. But never make that choice without some careful consideration. Once a tie is severed, it is difficult, if not impossible to reconnect. Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance....??
Wrote this December 23, 2008. Lots of good stuff here. Thought I would include in this new blog.
We love in others what we love in ourselves. We despise in others what we cannot see in ourselves. Often when a relationship goes sour we become blind, immune or resistant to our stuff by making an admirable attempt to dump it on the other person. People will resist having your stuff dumped in their lap because all too ofter it is also their stuff-the stuff they can't see. They resist by fighting or running away. As crazy as it seems, the person who stays to fight with you (and not physically of course) is usually the one who really loves you. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
Surrender works best when it is used in combination with forgiveness. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
Honor what you feel by believing you can have what you want. Respect where you are in your life, understanding that when you are ready to move forward you will. Support yourself by refusing to accept less than what you want. This is your foundation-what you do and how you treat yourself. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
What you feel usually determines what you want. More important, what you feel about what you want always determines what you do. If you feel that you can't have what you want, you may be acting out towards others in anger or resentment. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
You are the love you seek. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
The truth is that simultaneous growth is rare in relationships. Usually two people start out together. One pulls ahead, the other drops to the rear. In some cases, the one in the lead can reach back and pull the other one up to speed. In most cases, the one who reaches back gets slowed down, sometimes to a halt. Find your centre and stay grounded in it. Know that you can still love the person who is running behind you, but if they start walking, it is your responsibility to yourself to keep running. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
One aspect of unconditional love is being able to give of yourself without expectation of return or reward. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
Love is giving without remembering. Receiving without forgetting. Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
If you are resisting anything, you are focused upon it, pushing against it, and activating the vibration of it-and therefore attracting that which is like it. Esther and Jerry Hicks, The Law of Attraction
You cannot create in the experience of another because you cannot think their thoughts...What you can do for them is set the example of joy. Become a being who thinks only of that which you are wanting, who speaks only of that which you are wanting and who does only that which you are wanting-and therefore brings forth only positive emotion. Esther and Jerry Hicks, The Law of Attraction
Sometimes you think everything
Is wrapped up inside a diamond ring
Love just needs a witness
And a little forgiveness
And a halo of patience
And a less sporadic pace and
I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes
Oh I've felt that fire and I, I've been burned
But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned Pink, Crystal Ball
When a person shows you their true self, who they really are, good and bad, believe them. I don't remember where I heard this but it's so true.
We love in others what we love in ourselves. We despise in others what we cannot see in ourselves. Often when a relationship goes sour we become blind, immune or resistant to our stuff by making an admirable attempt to dump it on the other person. People will resist having your stuff dumped in their lap because all too ofter it is also their stuff-the stuff they can't see. They resist by fighting or running away. As crazy as it seems, the person who stays to fight with you (and not physically of course) is usually the one who really loves you. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
Surrender works best when it is used in combination with forgiveness. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
Honor what you feel by believing you can have what you want. Respect where you are in your life, understanding that when you are ready to move forward you will. Support yourself by refusing to accept less than what you want. This is your foundation-what you do and how you treat yourself. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
What you feel usually determines what you want. More important, what you feel about what you want always determines what you do. If you feel that you can't have what you want, you may be acting out towards others in anger or resentment. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
You are the love you seek. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
The truth is that simultaneous growth is rare in relationships. Usually two people start out together. One pulls ahead, the other drops to the rear. In some cases, the one in the lead can reach back and pull the other one up to speed. In most cases, the one who reaches back gets slowed down, sometimes to a halt. Find your centre and stay grounded in it. Know that you can still love the person who is running behind you, but if they start walking, it is your responsibility to yourself to keep running. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
One aspect of unconditional love is being able to give of yourself without expectation of return or reward. Iyanla Vanzant, In the Meantime
Love is giving without remembering. Receiving without forgetting. Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
If you are resisting anything, you are focused upon it, pushing against it, and activating the vibration of it-and therefore attracting that which is like it. Esther and Jerry Hicks, The Law of Attraction
You cannot create in the experience of another because you cannot think their thoughts...What you can do for them is set the example of joy. Become a being who thinks only of that which you are wanting, who speaks only of that which you are wanting and who does only that which you are wanting-and therefore brings forth only positive emotion. Esther and Jerry Hicks, The Law of Attraction
Sometimes you think everything
Is wrapped up inside a diamond ring
Love just needs a witness
And a little forgiveness
And a halo of patience
And a less sporadic pace and
I'm learning to be brave in my beautiful mistakes
Oh I've felt that fire and I, I've been burned
But I wouldn't trade the pain for what I've learned Pink, Crystal Ball
When a person shows you their true self, who they really are, good and bad, believe them. I don't remember where I heard this but it's so true.
Authentic
Authentic - not false or copied; genuine; real
That would be me. That will be this blog.
Looking forward to posting here. Maybe re-posting some favorites. Moving on.
Hope you enjoy.
That would be me. That will be this blog.
Looking forward to posting here. Maybe re-posting some favorites. Moving on.
Hope you enjoy.
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