A post I saw recently about the loss of a babe...

I saw a post on FB recently about miscarriage and essentially it said it didn't matter if a Mom carried their child a few weeks or to term; the loss of a baby is hard, damn hard.  And it's true...


Back in 2009...February to be exact, I saw my little turkey on the screen and heard their heartbeat. One week later I was taking her to the hospital in a little baggie inside a brown bag. It was one of the most traumatic experiences I've ever been through. That little life that was growing inside me was gone. My dream of a second child was gone. All I could think of was the birthdays that would never happen. That little face that would never sit around the supper table. The emptiness I felt is still indescribable.

I had someone who had a stillbirth kind of "meh" me when she heard my loss was at eight weeks. "Well at least you didn't have to carry to term like I did." No, no, I did not however, a piece of my heart died that day, just like hers did I'm sure. I see it as at least you got to hold your baby. To feel their skin. To see what they looked like. To kiss their little forehead. To tell them you loved them...

I guess I write this to say, it doesn't matter if your loss was at a few weeks or at term, your grieving is justified. It's such a personal thing. Never minimize your feelings. Trust, as impossible as it seems to do at the time, that everything happens as it should.

I suffered with this loss for a very long time. Stuck in grief mode perhaps. Through meditation (Reiki self love and healing) and a renewed faith, I have finally come to not only realize but to thoroughly believe that everything does in fact happen for a reason. I have complete faith in the plan that is laid out for me. That faith has brought contentment, which has brought improved mental health which subsequently has brought improved physical health. The improved physical health, I believe, has allowed me to conceive again. The end of this summer I will be a Mom again. <3 Who knew that at 40 years old I would be a Mom again?!!

Life is good. It really is. Out of despair and depression can come the most amazing things. Love yourself. Value yourself and your feelings. Be as positive as you can be. All this will change everything. XX