Loss of a little being. Dragonfly. Peace. Healing.

I was going through some paperwork the other night, cleaning, when I came across my central scheduling appointment for my blood work and ultrasound. This was for the babe that would have been born in September 2008.

Would have been.

The pregnancy ended fairly early on but late enough that there was no denying it's being...arm and leg buds, little eyes, a spine...

I was devastated. I didn't speak of it really. My marriage ended that month as well so really, life was all kind of fucked up.

A year later I went to see a beautiful channel. The first thing I asked her was about this loss. Her words rush through my head every time I feel the sadness that comes with a loss like this... 'She chose you and your physical earth body as a temporary resting place. She was not meant to stay here. She was your gift. You need to honour that instead of mourn. You need to be proud that you were chosen to be her mother on this earth. She knows you love her. Take comfort in this child.'

And comfort I did take. A lot of tears were shed during that session. Many more have come over the years. I think about how old she would have been now. What it would be like for my girlie to have a sister. What the holidays would be like with a little being here in the house. This is human nature I think. The difference, I see the positive and I am grateful. So very grateful that I had that little being in my body. That I could be her loving resting place even if just for a short while. And I know she is with me. She is one of my angels. She comes to me regularly as a dragonfly. <3 She appears when I least expect her, just so I know I am never alone. People can think this is "out there". I'm okay with that. :) 

I have a dragonfly tattoo on my right arm. The flowers are for September, the month she would have been born.

I had a reading last month. My Grandmother came through loud and clear. My baby girl is with her. <3 Though my heart still aches, I am at peace. I have this peace because I have opened my mind and my soul. Gratitude, thanksgiving, positive vibes, energy healing.

Healing.

XO