So was this planned?

I have to say I get a little irritated with this question. One, who cares if it wasn't (it was). Two, what business is it of yours? Three, does it make the little life growing inside me any less of a blessing?




So though I don't need to, I will answer this question. Yes, deciding to have a baby at 39 was very much planned. There were discussions about risk and what would happen if the baby was very ill because of the potential risks. There were discussions about finances and what it would mean for Jbird to no longer be an only child. There were discussions about how it may not happen because it took nine months of trying with Jbird and that was almost nine years ago. There were a couple of miscarriages after that. There was a health scare during the first one (the "C" word). Lots and lots to consider. And there should be. Bringing a life into this world is a big, BIG responsibility.

I was in the best physical shape of my life and certainly the best mental shape. I did a lot of praying. A lot of meditating on the idea of adding to my family. I have always known in my heart I was not done being a Mom. Whether it was adopting or fostering or having our own, another child would be in my home somehow.

And here I am today, blessed with this little being buzzing around in my belly. Almost 21 weeks. All tests have been perfect. Measurements as they should be. No high blood pressure. No high blood sugar this time. The normal morning sickness (only mine was at night - another blessing). A completely involved partner. <3 Sure there are people who have opinions about me being 40 when the babe arrives. There are people that think DH is crazy to have a baby at his young age (yup, my DH is younger than me, by quite a bit...whatever). We are happy. The baby is so far so good, healthy. Jbird is ecstatic to be a big sister.

Am I scared? Sure I am. The same way I was scared the first time. After all, it is having a baby!!! But the difference is, this time I have faith that things will turn out exactly as they should. I am deeply, deeply grateful for this little blessing. I take nothing for granted.

So yup, planned. Loved. Wanted. Cherished. Blessed.

Life is good.