And here we go (3)

I got my poo together. Imagine!!!! Got my own place (after selling my nice car and my snowmobile). Gone were any sort of luxuries. But that's okay because I was in a nice apartment below the sweetest old couple. I started seeing a life coach and a really nice guy. Things were looking up.



The nice guy and I moved in together. Dated for a while and five years later we were married. This was my guy! I was super happy. We had a baby girl a few years after we got married. A couple nice vehicles. A beautiful 2000 square foot house. Toys. Did whatever we wanted, when we wanted.

Then the distance. Him traveling a lot for work but not coming home when he could have. A lot of silence. A pregnancy; some hope. Then a miscarriage.

He decided he needed a little time on his own. Maybe a couple weeks to just get his head around things. Weeks went into months and he never came back. Four months later I left my home. I bought my own place and was starting fresh...again. This time with a wee baby girl. Again...someone else had determined my worth in the situation and I said okay. Hummmmm, I see a lesson here.

In this midst of this shit storm I started a new job. Thank goodness for a wonderful manager; I was a bit of a mess.

Then I went for a walk one day at lunch with my dear friend. It changed my life. I will spare the details though they are fresh in my mind like it happened this morning. The walk started with my eyes meeting the eyes of a young lady. The walk ended with her walking away with police and me just about puking under the bridge. She tried to jump. She didn't. It was very, very close. She was on the other side of the railing and ready to go. One more leg and that would have been it... I left marks in her wrists where I held them so tight. She left a mark on my heart that will stay there forever. I can't even write these words without tears...... She was my angel. All the shit that was happening in my world was nothing. It was nothing compared to the deep, deep pain this young woman had in her heart.

I saw her again some time later. We smiled at each other like old friends would. It was surreal. I was so relieved she was okay.

A piece of me changed that day. Never to be the same...